My 10 Essential Holiday Stress Melters

The fastest path to relaxation may be right under your nose: conscious breathing, as in just five slow and deep belly breaths. The tough part is remembering to do it, so find an anchor that works for you. My anchors include when I start meditating and before I fall asleep. I also do “4-16-8 breathing” where I breathe in for 4 count, hold for 16, and exhale for at least 8. Any way you choose to breathe deeply and consciously in through your nose is a tranquilizer for the nervous system.

When I was struck with MS at 19 and I was numb from the neck down for six weeks, a family friend gave me Norman Cousin’s book, Anatomy of an Illness in which he recounts healing from a mysterious autoimmune illness with high doses of vitamin C and laughter. My parents and I adopted the laughter strategy and spent evenings watching sitcoms, I Love Lucy and Cheers, all in an effort to reduce fear and uncertainty. It helped! Laughing causes a release of feel-good endorphins, which also relieve pain and may improve immune function, new research indicates.¹Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke, Mayo Clinic, http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456?pg=1 OK, having a friend to laugh with is best, but I still love belly laughing at silly stuff like America’s Funniest Home Videos, even when I’m home alone.

No matter the weather, I prioritize getting out for a hike or a long walk in nature. Research confirms that spending time in nature has a long list of health benefits including decreased feelings of depression and anxiety, and increased feelings of self-esteem and compassion.²Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation, Bratman, G., et. al., Current Issue > vol. 112 no. 28 > Gregory N. Bratman, 8567–8572, doi: 10.1073/pnas.1510459112, http://www.pnas.org/content/112/28/8567.abstract I love doing “walk ‘n talks” with girlfriends locally, or with a faraway friend who is walking at the same time and also using a phone with earphones. It feels nourishing and uplifting to connect with a good friend in nature.

About half the population is deficient in magnesium, the calming mineral that’s involved in 600 bodily functions, including energy creation, improved sleep, and blood sugar regulation.³https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/09/06/magnesium-deficiency-effects.aspx In addition to taking supplemental magnesium, I eat foods high in magnesium like leafy greens, broccoli, cacao nibs, and avocados, and I take hot Epsom salts baths to soak in magnesium sulfate and a few drops of calming organic lavender essential oil.

Even though the science is definitely in on meditation: decreases stress, anxiety, depression, increases resilience and empathy, and it increases the size of your brain!⁴Benefits of Meditation: 10 Science-Based Reasons To Start Meditating Today INFOGRAPHIC, Emma Seppala, Ph.D, http://www.emmaseppala.com/10-science-based-reasons-start-meditating-today-infographic/#.WFvz1LYrJ-U etc. this one did not come easily to me. But, with intention and practice, I have finally found what works for me: I use a mantra and sit for 20 minutes at least once a day, usually first thing in the morning. Adding to that I use a Muse device to track how calm I am during each meditation. Bluetooth technology and neurofeedback of birds chirping in my ears let me know I’m calm, whereas crashing waves tells me my mind is active. What’s cool about Muse is that it’s helped train my brain to be calmer and “win more birds” with practice. Give meditation a try – even for 5 minutes. Don’t think you have 5? Start with 1.

For me, tapping is one of the best and fastest stress-relieving tools. Just tapping strategic spots on my face while acknowledging my fears aloud helped me to deliver the eulogy for my mom with more grace and peace. Harvard Medical School psychiatrist Rick Leskowitz, calls Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or “Tapping,” “the most impressive intervention I’ve encountered in 25 years of work.”⁵Trauma Update: On The ‘Tipping Point For Tapping’ Therapy, Boston’s NPR Station: http://commonhealth.legacy.wbur.org/2013/07/trauma-update-on-the-tipping-point-for-tapping-therapy Tapping seems to work by addressing anxiety and stress at the source by changing your brain chemistry and altering neural pathways. Check out the footnote above to watch four war veterans overcome PTSD; and watch EFT videos with Brad Yates or Julie Schiffman to learn how to tap out stress, grief or anxiety in less than 10 minutes.

Studies show that forgiveness can lead to huge health rewards including: lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; reducing pain, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.⁶Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It, Johns Hopkins Medicine, http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/healthy_aging/healthy_connections/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it My favorite forgiveness practice is a short but powerful ancient Hawaiian prayer called Ho’oponopono: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Just saying the four lines – in any order – when thinking about people I love, and even more importantly when thinking about those I have trouble with, melts my heart. And that heart melting openness is the path to forgiveness, which is so healing. I make sure to include the prayer for myself!

I love the stress-melting effect of hugs. Science confirms that hugging boosts the immune system, decreases stress, and even improves heart health.⁷Does Hugging Provide Stress-Buffering Social Support? A Study of Susceptibility to Upper Respiratory Infection and Illness, Cohen, S., et. al., Psychological Science, http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614559284 ⁸10 Science-Based Health Benefits of Hugging, David “Avocado” Wolfe, https://www.davidwolfe.com/10-health-benefits-of-hugging/ Aim for 3 hugs a day. Animals count too. You’ll get bathed in oxytocin, called the “elixir of health” by Dr. Kelly Turner, Ph.D. & author of Radical Remission. Don’t have a partner or pet? Hug yourself. Seriously.

We are social creatures and we are not meant to be isolated. Science shows that social isolation — even feeling alone — can be more harmful than smoking, obesity, and high blood pressure. ⁹https://www.science.org/doi/abs/10.1126/science.3399889 On the other hand, social connection improves immune function, helps speed healing, and even increases longevity. And the good news is you don’t need a big network or lots of friends. The benefits of social connection come when you feel connected. Who could you reach out to today? Chances are you’ll be helping yourself and the other person.

When I was growing up, if I ever got sad and cried, my dad would tell me to stop crying. He might even tell me that other people had it worse than me, which hardly made me feel better; especially when I felt grief about the loss of a relationship. As I got older I realized that grief is normal and healthy and that my dad’s lack of empathy was not a skillful response. I’ll be honoring my mom by cooking, decorating, and singing Jingle Bell Rock loudly. Give yourself permission to cry, laugh, enjoy yourself, mourn, and honor your grief. Most of all, give yourself compassion.